Today's blog is a little bit different in that it's not specifically about math, education, technology, or STEM teaching and learning. Instead, I want to talk about more of a "life" problem: How do you determine when it's time for a change?
I turned to social media and asked that very question. It was so interesting to read the responses and to see the similarities in how we all address this common problem. Here are some of the ways people determine when it's time for a change:
The moments when I think I ought to make a change, when I realize it, and then when I'm finally ready to make the change are usually three different events. The familiar, however painful or dysfunctional, is comfortably known. I am finally aware, willing, and prepared to break through my fear of change when the pain of staying is greater than my fear of the unknown, or unfamiliar, or of failure, whatever is keeping me miserably stagnant.
Journal. Reread old entries. Ask God if it is His plan for you to be going through this same pain. Then get quiet enough to hear Him speak.
Dear Abby used to say "Ask yourself if you're better off with him or without him" to women wondering if they should stay in a less-than-wonderful marriage. It's probably a good question to ask when facing any take-it-or-leave-it situation.
When all your thoughts about that 'thing' (relationship/job/career/home) are rooted in fear and not love. What if they leave me? What if I lose my job?
I know when.... I've prayed a lot for God to give me an opportunity and then one comes that is taking me at least towards the way that I believe I need to go. That opportunity might only be the first in a series of long steps....but, as the old saying goes, "You have to take the first step".
I could relate to most of what others said and have utilized many of the strategies given. But once you've determined it's time for a change, you're still only part-way done: now you have to figure out a way to deal with the changes needed.
My advice? I have a simple three-step process that can help you in dealing with change: stop, drop, & roll.
STOP
Relax. Be easy. Breathe. Just be. Stop doing what you've been doing. Don't try to figure out what to do next, simply stop what you're doing now. Stopping lets you focus on what's important right now. For me, it was an amazing experience to simply feel what it was like to stop. Let this be a time of reflection, asking yourself what you really want, and exploring the possibilities that change can provide you.
DROP
David Foster Wallace once said, "Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it."
The above quote makes it clear: we don't like to let go. However, it is a critical component for handling change gracefully and peacefully. Just let go. Drop all the "baggage" surrounding the situation. This will allow you to see clearly and determine all available options for your next steps. Drop your preconceived notions and predetermined timelines as well. Drop your expectations and instead focus on now. Discover who you are today, in this very moment. That discovery will often lead to new paths and help you decide where to go next.
ROLL
We all know the phrase, "Let's roll!" from the stories of 9-11. I use the term "roll" to signify movement. Once you've determined your new direction, roll on! Take that leap, that first step, and begin the journey. Yes, it can be daunting, but it can also be invigorating and can help you recognize strengths in yourself that you didn't realize were present. Be brave. Embrace the change and roll with it.
As always, I'd love to hear from you. Email me with your stories and tips for handling change.
References:
The article from which the intro graphic came from (good advice on career-related change)
Additional tips for dealing with change
Article from the Huffington Post about getting through periods of change (also where the David Wallace quote came from)
The Solver Blog
Author: Dr. Diana S. Perdue